Can you recall a single important memory spent idly on the internet? A single moment when scrolling on your phone was the best thing you could have been doing? I can’t either. I’ve made many mental justifications for why I needed to be on my phone in the moment. “I just need to mentally check out for a bit” was a particularly easy one. But now, with a full time job, two little ones to play with, and all the sleep I need to keep me going, I have precious few hours remaining. It’s difficult to figure out how to best spend the spare minutes. But it’s now hard to figure out the worst way to spend it: social media consumption.
The Finite Hours Wasted
Every Sunday morning at 9:30 AM, I cringed when my phone would buzz. I knew that it was my weekly phone usage report. It was a personal indictment of how much time I wasted on my device. It was always baffling to see how many hours of my life was being spent on careless consumption. I finally started to ask myself why.
“Why am I spending so many hours on my phone?”
What was I gaining through my phone use? I was entertained, sure, but I wasn’t becoming a better or more complete person from it. And it certainly wasn’t helping my patience or my attention span. It took a while of denial before I accepted that I needed a change.
My Moment of Awakening
Most of the time we all spend on the internet is mindless. Typically, we aren’t using it to better ourselves or learn new skills. It’s mindless entertainment. I had a bit of a revelation thanks to Deep Work by Cal Newport. He mentions that we all look for the smallest possible benefit as justification for using a social media site.
It felt like that was directed at me personally.
For a while, I was going back and forth about cutting myself off from certain social media sites (Twitter). I finally forced myself to weigh the real benefits of the platform.
Was it making me a better person or a happier person? Was it helping me to accomplish my personal goals in life? Would people on the platform really miss me if I left? The answer to all three was a resounding “NO.”
The Purpose of Social Media
We have to be honest with ourselves regarding social media. And we have to be smart enough to recognize the point of these sites. Their purpose is to sell us things and sell our information. Look at the top earning tech companies. Facebook and Google are both up there. These are companies that are famous for their free services. They’re not free because they want us to be happier. They’re free so that they can sell us things. And they’re specifically designed to be addictive. So let me lay it all out. Social media sites are made to get us addicted to scrolling on our phone in order to sell us things and gather information about us to sell to other companies/governments.
People claim that they use social media sites to meet and connect with friends and stay in touch with those far away. But to some extent, are we really staying in touch? Is commenting “Looks great” on a photo or posting “Happy birthday” on someone’s Facebook wall really connecting with them? And would they notice/care if you didn’t post a happy birthday when the next one rolled around?
Really ask yourself if it’s worthwhile to aimlessly scroll through your newsfeed for hours. Is it worth it to see all the carefully curated ads (based on all those free Google searches you made) and have your internet tendencies sold to whomever wants it? Thinking about these questions motivated me to drastically cut back on social media use. And like many other times, I was helped by a book.
The Social Media Fast and The Next Steps
Deep Work is all about strategies and behaviors to help the average worker become exceptional, all while maintaining a healthy work/life balance. One of these strategies is to eliminate any social media platform that isn’t really benefiting you. Newport challenges the reader to take a 30 day fast from all social media. At the end of 30 days, if there’s a social media site that you really miss and you got benefit from, you can use it again. The goal is to show that most social media usage is frivolous and holds us back.
I started with Twitter. I deleted the app and signed out of it on all my devices. Then I used the content restriction on my phone to block the website completely. Then I got a little wild. I did the same with Facebook. And a few days after, I deleted YouTube as well. Three huge time sinks that I gave my finite time to were gone from my phone.
And they’re still gone. And I don’t really miss them.
My Results (So Far)
Since deleting all the social media sites from my phone, my screen time has decreased by hours. Yes, hours plural. It’s embarrassing that I was wasting so much of my life using those sites. Here’s some things I’ve been doing instead of wasting the time:
Being more present at home. It’s not like I was ignoring my family (how can you ignore two smiley 4 month olds?), but I wasn’t in the moment. Without the distraction of social media, I feel the desire to be more social. And it’s not pulling my attention away from the two smiley boys.
Reading. I’m actually reading more. Since giving up Twitter and even more since giving up the others, I’ve read 5 books. That’s not even counting the most recent reading of Go Dog Go with the twins.
Blogging. I’ve been working a bit on the blog every night now. Instead of scrolling after the wife and babies go to bed, I’m putting in the time to improve my writing. I even did some cosmetic changes to the front page of the blog (the most recent posts can be found there now!).
My Challenge to You
My challenge to you is to do an audit of your phone use. Your phone will even do it for you. Really think about how much time is being used. If you use your phone for 5 hours per day, that’s over 1800 hours per year. If we consider a day to be 16 hours since we need to sleep, that’s 114 days out of the year. Do you feel comfortable using about a third of your life on social media?
After the audit, answer the questions I’ve posed in this post. And take a social media fast. Delete all the apps. Sign out of the sites. Block them if you have to (you can always unblock them later). Go for 30 days without them and see if you miss them. The worst that can happen is that you miss them and go back at the end. The best case scenario? You stop wasting your finite time.
I understand the irony of my posting this largely anti-social media post on Facebook. But that’s how I reach most of my audience. If you want to stay updated on the blog while joining me on my 30 day social media fast, sign up for the Frugal Jon Journal below. All you’ll receive are emails with links to new posts.
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Disclaimer: there is an affiliate link in this article. If you use the link to purchase a copy of Deep Work, I’ll get a percentage. You can also find the book free at your library/through your library’s ebook app.
You left out the times you are only half listening when with family and friends when scrolling thru your phone. You are blessed with a beautiful loving family who are certainly more important than social media, Great job on your blog, you’re taking after your mom! Love Pa